Happy Tuesday! Finally, I have updated my India Trip. So far I have been applying office jobs though with the expected salary I am hoping to get however no luck yet, at the same time I am expecting a call but so far to no avail and it is already past office hours. I also just port in from Singtel to Circles Life. In terms of my health, I am still not recovered fully with my throat is still inflamed but after today’s Barley, it seems to be working. I hope I get well soon so that I could eat proper again. So let’s get back to my daily prompts of where I last stop;

18th November 2016: 323/366 Fear No More

What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?

I think the best example of me being scared to do is losing control of myself, which I have nothing to hold on to. Usually most of the time I have absolutely control of what is happening around me, what I am doing, I have a choice to act upon it or not.

One of those things people knows about me is I hated theme parks because it is not because I am afraid of riding those rides, it is more of not being able to enjoy those rides fully because when I am on those kind of rides, I cannot let myself go. That is why; I have no sense of reaction, holding on to whatever I have in me right there and just experience the thrill. I have a friend who purposely trying to ruin my birthday in bringing me to Universal Studios Singapore; I have no choice but to go because he already bought the tickets and I just have to enjoy the day despite not really loving every bit of it but I enjoyed nonetheless but no more.  

Another example is swimming, I actually can swim however one big problem I have is nerves breakdown while I am in deep waters, I have to say I now experienced drowning for 3 times, 1 in the pool, one in the river and another most recent in a natural river area. The feeling is like I have nothing to hold on to, I could not stand, my heart pumps so fast and water keeps coming in. My eyes will be closed and literally panic. At that point I literally feel like dying. I will never go into deep waters unless I have a life jacket or someone just push me into the water.

Sleeping seems to be another factor, as when I am sleeping, everything around me just becomes invisible, I am brought into my own world and whatever happens can happen without knowing. Sleeping alone works best; sleeping with another individual however can be just as normal or a curse as well because I would not know what are the movements that might happen but I know I might not sleep well indeed unless I know that both parties will be safe.  

So that is some things I am most scared to do and out of everything we are afraid of is to just take a chance and believe in your gut that after you have done what you are afraid of, you get to experience how it feels like. I think the scariest of all is you don’t even know what just had happened.

Tuesday 18th July 2017 1913hrs

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